Hi Lovelies....

Hi Lovelies....

January 09, 2008

Dreams VS Mengada2...

Yesterday...something happen to me...
maybe hormone changes or penat sgt...or maybe, tgh bengang dgn my Boss...

yeah...yesterday ptg, mmg tgh HOT dgn my boss.... suker2 hati jer treat me like that!!!
Damn her!!! and me....I tend to get so fussy and wicked when I'm angry with somebody...
isu itu akan beralih ke isu lain yg blh dijadikan sebab utk mengamuk....

and my best friend, which I called her to just release my tension...indirectly hurt my feelings...
she just make me remembered of my unfulfilled dreams...how sad is that????
no...she dont know... she dont know how hurt I am with the news... but I still happy for her...
no matter what....
but it really hurts me on that time... which now cause a major problem...

the dreams...the unfulfilled dreams.... I hv had it since long2 a go....
and it hurt me when I saw people gets what I dreamt...
and now, it really hurts me when my bestfriend will get what I dream on her wedding day...
and ME? I dont... I would never get what I dreamt.... Enchek fiancee will nvr approved it!!
NEVER...

so... I went back home with heavy burden in my head...
thinking of the unfulfilled dreams..... and with sakit hati dgn boss....

when he (enchek fiancee) sms me... I am totally no mood to talk with him....
no more manja2 words... not even a decent hye greet....
my mood become worst whenever I thought about the dreams....

wanna know what my dream is? actually, I hv told my bestfriend about it....
it might be sound simple n not very important to other people....
but for me... as ia adalah impian sy sejak dulu n plus, I love that dream....
it is damn important to me...

Dream :
a simple garden wedding with limited amount of guest...
I walk through the red carpet wearing a PINK kebaya/kurung/dress...
the husband would wear PINK baju melayu with gold sampin....
the ambiance should be so cosy with pink and red roses all the ceremony place....

Reality :
a wedding in a hall... with large amount of guest....
wedding theme: PURPLE for Nikah
MAROON for Ceremony
BLUE for Bertandang
guess what? again.... PURPLE for Engagement Day...

so sad.... I cant even fulfilled my dreams...just because he doesnt want it....
for him, PINK is not a man colour...too girlish....
all those colour, purple, and blue is his favourite colour.... n the maroon is a substitute to change my request to hv a pink wedding....
he would say a big NO-NO to anything with PINK...I notice that....
dunno why he hates Pink very much.... dont bother to ask pon...
I even asked for PINK hantaran...and as I thought...
He refused!!! sedih sungguh....urm....what can I do...he's the men.... :(

so, our conversation yesterday nite end up with fighting...
he yelled at me... just because my mood swing...
dont even bother to understand...and me myself, dont even want to tell him what its all about...
why must I? I know its damn too late to change the wedding theme....
everything has set... the materials for wedding dress hs been bought....
so, dh tak ada gunanya lg nk membebel n bgtau what in my mind kn?
after all... he will definitely tak setuju nantinya...
penat jer....

oh my mood swing...
sebab tu jer hati aku dh sakit ni....
lg bingit bila ptg smlm tu Imah kata, hari nikah dia theme colour is PINK....
I hate that...it makes me thinking about it all damn day...
seolah2 I dont have the right to express my feelings....

ahhh...I'm too busy today to think about this...
yet, it still bother me a lot....
keep thinking about the PINK theme.... n disturbed my work....
really disturbing tau....













~picture taken from several website...credit to all of them....~

I really need to know....
is my dream too MENGADA2?
I don't deserve to 'merealisasikan' my dreams for my own WEDDING???
mengada2 kah itew?
tak boleh ker mengalah sedikit?
n tak boleh ker kalau tak sengaja2 menyakitkan hatiku???

aahhh... I need to tenangkn fikiranku....
what I need is a window shopping at KLCC...
I definitely dont have the mood to continue my work....
bye guys...





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