Hi Lovelies....

Hi Lovelies....

August 22, 2006

hahahahahah

aku jumper 1 letter dr 1 blog nie tau...
kelakar giller...tentang isu terkini skrg nie...
yg sdg hangat dr semalam...
PERNIKAHAN SITI NURHALIZA,27 (the stupid young lady) WITH DATUK K, 47 the (tak sedar diri punyer org tua)
surat dr Rayuan demi Peri Kemanusiaan at Techblogy.com

Kepada Saudara Pengantin,
Tahniah di atas perkahwinan saudara yang bakal menjelang. Kami kawan-kawan semuanya mengucapkan tahniah dan selamat berbahagia, serta semoga jodoh berpanjangan, dan insya Allah kami hadir di majlis saudara.
Bagaimanapun, setelah mengambil tahap kemeluatan rakyat Malaysia terhadap laporan-laporan media berkaitan persiapan perkahwinan beberapa ‘celebrity’ tempatan yang bakal berlangsung, sukacita kami mencadangkan kepada saudara dan bakal isteri agar tidak terjebak dalam perkara-perkara yang tidak senonoh seperti berikut:
(1) Sekiranya saudara bercadang mengadakan majlis perkahwinan di pusat-pusat persidangan seperti Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre, diharap saudara dapat memberi pertimbangan kepada pengguna-pengguna jalanraya di sekeliling tempat majlis itu diadakan. Besar harapan kami sekiranya saudara tidak menyekat atau mengubah laluan trafik, terutamanya ketika saudara mengadakan raptai penuh majlis perkahwinan pada hari dan masa orang-orang tengah sibuk nak pergi atau balik dari kerja.
(2) Kami tidak mempunyai halangan sekiranya saudara dan isteri mengimpikan majlis perkahwinan ala “Cinderella”. Mana-mana pasangan pengantin juga berhak memilih tema-tema seperti “Beauty and The Beast”, “Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs”, “Happy Happy Puffy Amy Yumi”, “PowerPuff Girls”, “Courage The Cowardly Dog”, malah ala “Basic Instinct” atau “XXX”, err, maksud saya,”X-Men”, sekali pun. Kami hanya memohon jasa baik sdr agar tidak menghuraikan impian saudara dengan panjang lebar dalam surat khabar contohnya tentang gaun pengantin tujuh lapis (tak panas ke?), kek tujuh tingkat dengan bertangga, naik kereta kuda tujuh roda dan sebagainya. Sesungguhnya, dalam zaman di mana kita perlu memulihara alam sekitar, amat tidak wajar sekali banyak pokok terpaksa dikorbankan untuk diproses menjadi kertas suratkhabar, tetapi dicetak dengan cerita-cerita fantasi seperti itu.
(3) Adalah juga dicadangkan agar saudara dan pihak keluarga belah pengantin perempuan, utamanya ibu bapa mertua, membuat “message alignment” agar tidak mengeluarkan kenyataan-kenyataan yang bercanggah berkaitan perkara-perkara seperti duit hantaran. Sesungguhnya kami tidak mempunyai apa-apa halangan tentang jumlah duit hantaran, sama ada RM88,888.88 atau RM22,222.22 atau RM00,000.00, dan juga tidak hirau sama sekali sekiranya duit hantaran itu dibayar dalam bentuk Ringgit Malaysia, rupiah Indonesia atau menggunakan kad kredit. Yang penting, saudara dan isteri selamat diijabkabulkan dengan memenuhi syariah.
(4) Sekiranya saudara dan isteri bertuah menerima tawaran mana-mana stesen televisyen agar majlis saudara disiarkan secara langsung di tv kelak, besar harapan kami sekiranya saudara memaklumkan stesen televisyen tersebut agar tidak membatalkan rancangan-rancangan lain yang lebih penting dan bermakna seperti EPL, CSI dan Formula 1.
Kami juga mengucapkan tahniah sekiranya demi memenuhi permintaan segelintir peminat saudara, saudara perlu melangsungkan majlis perkahwinan tambahan di Indonesia, Inner Mongolia, Swaziland, Bukina Faso atau Solomon Islands, tetapi kami amat amat amat berterima kasih sekiranya saudara memaklumkan kepada semua stesen televisyen di Malaysia agar tidak menyiarkan majlis perkahwinan saudara sepanjang masa, termasuk semasa tayangan Berita Perdana. Mujurlah Akademi Fantasia sudah selesai.
Kalau tidak, harus pusingan Final Akademi Fantasia terpaksa ditangguh semata-mata nak menyiarkan majlis perkahwinan saudara. Bukankah itu akan menjejaskan pendapatan syarikat-syarikat telekomunikasi negara (Maxis, Celcom, Digi), seterusnya membawa kepada kemerosotan ekonomi?
Jasa baik saudara dan bakal isteri dalam memberi pertimbangan yang adil dan sewajarnya kepada rayuan rakyat marhaen seperti kami amat kami alu-alukan dan didahului dengan setinggi-tinggi penghargaan dan jutaan terima kasih. Semoga pernikahan saudara dan bakal isteri direstui dan diberkahi Allah S.W.T. Aaaamin.
Selamat menjadi Pengantin Baru (tanpa menyusahkan orang lain)!
Salam hormat, Siti K.
To the bride and groom,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! We would like to offer our best wishes and hapiness, may yours be a lasting match and with Allah’s grace, we would be present at your wedding ceremony.
However after seeing the limit of Malaysians tested with endless media reports regarding wedding preparations of some local ‘celebrities’, we would like to offer you and your bride some suggestions so you would not make the same following mistakes:
(1) If you plan to hold your wedding at convention places such as the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre, it is hoped that you can give due consideration to those who frequently use the roads around the area. We greatly hope that you do not block or change traffic routes, especially if you are holding the wedding rehearsal on the day and time when people are busy getting to and back from work.
(2) We do not have any objections if you and your wife dream of a wedding ceremony ala “Cinderella”. Every bride and groom have the right to choose themes such as “Beauty and The Beast”, “Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs”, “Happy Happy Puffy Amy Yumi”, “PowerPuff Girls”, “Courage The Cowardly Dog”, even themes such as “Basic Instinct” or “XXX”, err I mean, “X-Men”. We only ask that you do not go to lengths talking about your dream wedding in newspapers, for example regarding the 7-layered wedding gown (doesn’t it get hot?), the 7-tier wedding cake with ladders, the horse-drawn carriage with 7 wheels and so on. In these times when we have to preserve the environment, it is not right if trees are sacrificed to be processed into papers, and the papers printed with such fantasy stories.
(3) It is suggested that you and your in-laws, especially your parents-in law plan their messages beforehand so that they do not come out with contradictory statements in regards to the bridal money. We truly do not have objections when it comes to the sum, whether it is RM88,888.88 or RM22,222.22 or RM00,000.00, and we do not care if it is paid in Ringgit Malaysia, Indonesia Rupiah or using a credit card. The most important thing is that you and your wife are safely wed according to the Syariah laws.
(4) If the tv stations offer you and your wife the opportunity to broadcast your wedding cereromy live on tv, we greatly hope that you would inform the tv stations not to cancel out other more important and meaningful programmes such as EPL, CSI and Formula 1.
If you have to please some of your fans and hold additional ceremonies in Indonesia, Inner Mongolia, Swaziland, Bukina Faso or Solomon Islands, we do offer our congratulations but we would be very very very grateful if you would inform all the tv stations in Malaysia NOT to broadcast these ceremonies at any time, including during the broadcast of Prime News. Thankfully Akademi Fantasia is over and done with.
Otherwise the final show of Akademi Fantasia would have to be delayed just to broadcast your wedding ceremony. Wouldn’t that affect the income of telecommunications companies (Maxis, Celcom, Digi) and thus bringing a negative impact to the country’s economy?
Your good will and kindness in giving due consideration to our appeal is much appreciated and we would like to thank you in advance. May your wedding ceremony and your future wife be blessed by Allah S.W.T Aaamin.
Best wishes to the bride and groom (without causing others difficulties)!

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